Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

me every time there is a cat regardless of the situation (via spockular)


A branch of the American government got caught playing this game on Twitter. This game is an epidemic.


having siblings is weird bc like one minute u want to strangle them with their own intestines and then later ur singing dramatic duets together

carl-the-majestic-llama hosfordryan thefabulouspretzel


It’s finally finished, after a year of work.  This is a reproduction of Gustav Klimt’s “The Kiss”, from a pattern by Barbara Hammet. I stitched it on 28 count Aida and used DMC threads. Though I’ve had trouble with metallic thread in the past, I learned a trick for knotting the thread and had no issues. As always, finishing is not my strong suit. You’ll notice some wrinkles in the fabric which I was just too lazy to iron all the way out. Check out my past progress shots and follow me for more cross stitch adventures! So glad to be done with this! 

(Source: maddifacee)

tagged: #fav

(Source: queer-tears)

(Source: wienerlicious)


ok dude, i know you wanna fuck the granny queen from a bugs life, we’ve gotten your confession 385 fucking times, we get it, you love fucking old wrinkly ass ants, stop fucking submitting it.


Selfies/Hair through 2013

Missed a lot of hair changes and selfies but what can you do lol too many hair selfies to look through and don’t feel like editing them all to fit into one post lol

But I guess these are the main ones?? idek lol

tagged: #hello cutie